Scenes from a Hospital
I chose, or rather my kidney stones chose for me, the right morning to go to the ER. I was stuck in a curtained-off room by myself for a good 5 hours, with no cell service and a telephone that couldn’t connect to outside numbers. But Sylvia, an eloquent 400-pound bipolar woman being held on involuntary psychiatric hold provided plenty of entertainment.
“I’m so disgusted with this place, I want to shit on the floor.” -S
“My son’s in jail. He’s an engineer.” -S
“You’re a social worker, stop trying to pretend you’re intelligent.” -S
“I want a trained medical staff, not a football team of dykes.” -S
“I’m sick of all this bullshit so I wrote my own 10-page health care bill.” -S
“My brother’s psychiatrist tried to kill me while I was driving.” -S
“This is Auschwitz.” -S
“This is mad shit, son, mad crazy shit” -The security guard who failed arresting her
“This is like the time James Belushi speed balled.” -S
“Did you sell that little lesbian heroin in the parking this morning so she could come in and try to kill me with it?” -S
“Hey lesbian nurse, are you in love with me?” -S
“So do you just round up these people in the morning, hand them a pair of scrubs, and let them play doctor?” -S
“Its like HBO in here this morning.” -Male nurse
“Where are my designer clothes?” -S
Notes
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